Table Topics questions about college team names or mascots

Table Topics is the impromptu speaking section of a Toastmasters club meeting. It is where members give a one to two minute answer to a question. A good topic category can generate a series of questions.

Colleges usually name sports teams either after fierce animals (like Tigers) or tough guys (like Visigoths). But other names just are demonyms, a recent (1990) scary sounding term, which the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines as:

“a word (such as Nevadan or Sooner) used to denote a person who inhabits or is native to a particular place.”

Hoosiers refers to residents of Indiana, and is used by Indiana University. Hoosier has obscure origins. It really isn’t from the apparent paternity question, Who’s Your Daddy? Tunxis Community College might once have had the Mudsharks, which I’ve changed to the Mighty Mud Sharks. I recall an old Firesign Theatre routine where there even was a team called the Oyster Panthers.

What are the best, worst, or silliest team names you have seen? It would be best to leave a list of names for an entire conference or state on the lectern. Wikipedia has a comprehensive List of College Athletic Conferences in the United States and a List of College Sports Team Nicknames (UC Irvine has the rather silly Anteaters, UC Santa Cruz has the Banana Slugs, and Scottsdale has the Fighting Artichokes).

I graduated from Carnegie Mellon University, which has the silly Tartans. The athletics web page testily explains that name refers to striped woolen fabric rather than warriors. Then their motto also should be something silly - like We Be Bad, We Wear Plaid.

Here in the Treasure Valley of Idaho, Boise State University has the Broncos, and College of Idaho has the Yotes (an abbreviated form for Coyotes). Northwest Nazarene University has the Nighthawks (who used to be the Crusaders). Boise State is in the Mountain West Conference, which also has the Falcons (Air Force Academy), Bulldogs (Cal State Fresno), Rams (Colorado State), Wolf Pack (Nevada – Reno), Rebels (Nevada – Las Vegas), Lobos (New Mexico), Aztecs (San Diego State), Spartans (San Jose State), Aggies (Utah State), and Cowboys & Cowgirls (Wyoming).  

The Big Ten Conference, which really contains 14 institutions, has the Wolverines (University of Michigan), Nittany Lions (Pennsylvania State University), Wildcats (Northwestern), Badgers (University of Wisconsin), Terrapins (University of Maryland), Golden Gophers (University of Minnesota), Spartans (Michigan State University), Hawkeyes (University of Iowa), Scarlet Knights (Rutgers University), Fighting Illini (University of Illinois), Boilermakers (Purdue University), Cornhuskers (University of Nebraska), Buckeyes (The Ohio State University), and Hoosiers (Indiana University). I think Boilermakers is almost as silly as Tartans. Demonyms like Buckeyes, Cornhuskers, and Hoosiers are unimaginative.  

This post was inspired by a November 15, 2019 newspaper article in the IdahoPress by Eric Bamer titled Sparkles sparks outrage: could a unicorn be CWI’s new mascot? He explains that back in 2008 the College of Western Idaho (CWI, our local community college in Nampa) began unofficially using a unicorn. Their academic building previously was used by Boise State University, so it had lots of Broncos (horse head logos) on the walls. Their vice president suggested adding horns to change them into unicorns, and later a graphic designer drew up a unicorn logo.   

But now there is a committee to select an official mascot using highfaluting criteria like being professional, Idaho specific, and embodying values (courage and valor). They left the Unicorns (Sparkles) off a preliminary list of six: Bighorns, Birds of Prey, Garnets, Horned Owls, Otters, and Tumbleweeds. A follow-up article on November 19, 2019 is titled Sparkles the Unicorn not included in CWI’s top mascot options said the latest three were Bighorns, Horned Owls, and Otters.

Tumbleweeds are from an invasive plant (Russian Thistle), and thus not Idaho specific (and very silly). Birds of Prey is non-specific; instead it should have been specific like a Kestrel.    

A cartoon image of a shark came from Wikimedia Commons, and was flipped and colorized to create the mythical Mighty Mud Sharks. (Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention once had a song called The Mud Shark). The tumbleweed image also was cropped from one at Wikimedia Commons.