A humorous book of essays by Steven Petrow about all the stupid things he won’t do when he gets older

 

 

 

 

 

If you are looking for speech topics, then you might enjoy looking at Steven Petrow’s 2021 book titled Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old: A highly judgmental, unapologetically honest accounting of all the things our elders are doing wrong.

 

One essay on pages 18 to 25 is titled I Won’t Double-Space After Periods. It begins by describing that holdover from manual typewriters (shown above). An article by Katherine J. Wu at the Smithsonian on April 27, 2020 titled Why Microsoft Word now considers two spaces after a period an error tells us it definitely is over. He also mentions a Saturday Night Live skit about a fictional Amazon Echo Silver smart speaker (developed with AARP for the Greatest Generation), which you can watch here on YouTube.

 

A second essay on pages 36 to 41 is titled I Won’t Limit Myself to Friends My Own Age. His next to last paragraph on page 41 says:

 

“That’s why I’ve chosen to identify as a ‘Perennial,’ a term coined by tech entrepreneur Gina Pell to describe ‘ever-blooming, relevant people of all ages who live in the present time, know what’s happening in the world, stay current with technology, and have friends of all ages. Perennials get involved, stay curious, mentor others, and are passionate, compassionate, creative, confident, collaborative, global-minded risk takers, and who know how to hustle.’ Millennials can be Perennials. Boomers can be Perennials. Anyone can choose to be a Perennial.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A third essay on pages 69 to 72 is titled I Won’t Pass Up a Chance to Pee (Even When I Don’t Have To). Steven mentions having to use an empty water bottle as a urinal when he got caught in construction traffic on I-10 while driving from the Mojave Desert to LAX. For a couple years in the mid-1980s I lived in Houston. Distances between Texas towns were far longer than I had been used to in the Midwest. (Southwest Airlines got started flying business travelers on the triangle between Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio as an alternative to their having to drive). I put a red plastic urinal (shown above) in the trunk of my car. It first got used when I also got stuck in construction traffic - on a trip between San Antonio and Houston. And on December 19, 2021 I blogged about The three pees of public speaking.