Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Getting your use of details ‘just right’ – like in the story of Goldilocks

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When writing a brief speech (such as a typical 5-to-7-minute one for a Toastmasters club meeting) it is important to add just the right number of details, rather than either too few or too many. At her MANIACTIVE blog on July 25, 2023 there is an excellent post by Laura Bergells titled The Goldilocks Guide to Adding Detail in Your Presentations. She says:

 

“Goldilocks captivates with storytelling. She chooses concrete and relatable details that paint captivating mental images. A forest, a house, 3 bowls of porridge, 3 chairs, and 3 beds. Goldilocks also lets you know the sizes of the bowls, chairs, and beds.”

 

Singer-songwriters like Jason Isbell are particularly adept at poetic, pithy details. You can watch a video of him at the beginning of the second episode of the PBS TV series, Southern Storytellers. There also is an article at PBS on June 30, 2023 titled Meet the Musicians in ‘Southern Storytellers’ | Jason Isbell, Thao Nyugen, Adia Victoria & Lyle Lovett.

 

Three examples come from songs on Jason’s latest album, Weathervanes. The first is from Strawberry Woman. Instead of stating men were watching her, he instead says there were:

 

“Prairie dogs popping up to see

 that strawberry woman sitting next to me”

 

The second is from Save the World, a song reflecting on mass shootings. Its second verse begins:

 

“Balloon poppin’ at the grocery store My heart jumpin’ in my chest.
I look around to find the exit door Which way outta here's the best?”

 

The third is from Volunteer, a song about an orphan. Jason begins with:

 

“Daddy worked hard, mama worked harder

 Propped up on pain pills and pride

 They were just kids when I came in this world

 And I was a kid when they died.

 

 They’d fight about money, they’d fight about fighting

 They’d fight about nothing at all

 The car was still running when the deputy found ‘em

 At the Shell by the Gunbarrel Mall.

 

 Chorus:

 

 Take me away from here

 No, I never belonged to this place

 Wish I could disappear off the edge of the earth

 Take me away from here

 No, I don’t wanna fight for the rest of my life

 I ain’t your volunteer.”

 

The title, Volunteer is an ironic reference to Volunteer State, which is the motto on license plates from the state of Tennessee. It refers to residents volunteering to fight in the War of 1812 and the Mexican War.   

 

Gunbarrel Mall is a horrific name for a shopping center. Is there really something like that? In Chattanooga there is a Gunbarrel Road, and a large mall between it and Interstate 75 named Hamilton Place. Maybe its local nickname is the Gunbarrel Mall. But there is a smaller center near it named Gunbarrel Pointe. That name suggests you could be held up at gunpoint or even shot dead.

 

On July 7, 2020 I blogged about Jason in a post titled What rhymes with parking lot? His answer is astronaut.

 

The image of Goldilocks in one of three beds was adapted from page 25 in a 1923 book at the Internet Archive titled The Child’s Treasury.

 


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