There is a 2025 useful, brief (141 page) little book (5-1/4” wide by 7-3/4” high by 5/8” thick) by Carol Leifer and Rick Mitchell titled How to Write a Funny Speech … for a wedding, bar mitzvah, graduation & every other event you didn’t want to go to in the first place. A preview is at Google Books. An article about it by Carol Leifer and Rick Mitchell at Oprah Daily on March 11, 2025 is titled A Foolproof Guide to Writing The Perfect Wedding Speech. Sections in the book are summarized by the following tips:
Getting Started Tips
Keep it short and sweet.
Think about the ‘where’ and ‘when.’
Keep it classy! You’re most likely giving your speech to a mixed crowd, so keep it G-rated.
The Beginning Tips
Let the crowd know who you are and your relationship to the honoree.
Share with the guests the story of how you first met.
Before or at the event, ask if you are going to be introduced.
The Middle Tips
Start by trying to list five personal attributes about the person – a good path to humor.
Personal Stories! About them! About the two of you together! That’s the gold.
Don’t talk about yourself unless it’s in relation to the honoree.
Parents? Don’t make your speech an obnoxious reading of your kid’s resume.
Don’t use cliches.
No detail is too small to get right.
The end tips
Speak from the heart briefly.
Raise a glass and toast your honoree(s).
Give them a warm embrace before going back to your seat.
There are five examples of speeches with helpful comments added:
Rick’s Speech for Charlie and Rachel’s Wedding (pages 50 to 53)
Betsy’s Real Speech for Jessica and Zack (pages 58 to 61)
Cousin Elliot’s Best Man Speech for His Brother Joel (pages 62 to 67)
Rick’s Speech for Ella and Jake’s Wedding (pages 68 to 71)
Carol’s Speech at Cousin Jay’s Memorial (pages 72 to 77).
This book also contains four very useful templates:
Wedding Speech Template (pages 94 to 97)
Retirement-Speech Template (pages 102 to 105)
Graduation-Speech Template (pages 107 to 110)
Bar Mitzvah-Speech Template (pages 111 to 114)
The wedding speech one is more useful than a July 2019 Toastmaster magazine article on page 8 titled Tips for the Perfect Wedding Toast. The template says:
Wedding Speech Template
“Hello, my name is [your name], and I’m [relationship to honoree (X)]. I remember when I first met [where and when you met (X)]. Now everybody knows that (X) is [a characteristic or quality of (X)]. And I saw this very clearly when [something (X) did to display this characteristic or quality].
[(X)’s new spouse (Y)? You’re lucky because (X) is a very good person. (X) once [something nice (X) did]. But of course, I’ve also got to tell you the funniest story about (X) [a funny or embarrassing story about (X)].
And then (X) met (Y). I’ll never forget when (X) told me [story (X) told you about meeting (Y)]. Now it’s plain to see that (Y) is [complimentary asset of (Y)]. And it’s clear to see that these two should be together because [obvious reason (X) and (Y) should be together].
(X) was a disaster as a single person! (X) once [funny or embrarrassing thing (X) did while single].
Today, we toast their marriage! (Y)? You’re going to have to get used to a lot of things about (X). [Three funny things about (X) that you are sure will drive (Y) crazy].
So let’s raise our glasses to (X) and (Y). I am honored that you asked me to speak on this monumental occasion and wish you nothing but the best from this day forward! Cheers!”
My cartoon was derived from happy-day and generic-book cartoons at OpenClipArt.
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