There is a very useful book from 2023 by Greg Harden titled Stay Sane in an Insane World: How to control the controllables and thrive. The book jacket blub says that:
Greg Harden is a Peak Performance Coach, motivational speaker, and executive consultant who is best known for his work with seven-time Super Bowl champion quarterback Tom Brady. He also worked with Heisman Trophy and Super Bowl MVP Desmond Howard, and twenty-three time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps.”
One brief chapter is:
CHAPTER 32 FACING THE CHALLENGE OF PUBLIC SPEAKING (pages 176 and 177)
“What if I told you, you’re going to stand up in front of five hundred people tomorrow, and you’re going to speak to them for twenty minutes?
What are you feeling right now?
Are you sweating? Are your hands shaking? Do you have to change your pants?
The fancy Latin term for fear of public speaking is glossophobia, and I read somewhere that three out of four people suffer from it. So you’re not alone! But at some point in your life, you’re probably going to have to face it. And I have some concrete ideas to make it a lot easier.
Leah Robertson, a water polo player at Michigan had maybe the worst case of glossophobia I’ve ever seen. She was tall, attractive, and athletic, mind you – one of the best players on the team and an all-around fantastic person. But the thought of standing up in front of an audience at the end of the season was giving her nightmares.
The first thing I told her was that she needed to expect the demons of fear and self-doubt to show up that night. She wouldn’t be human if they didn’t.
And because those demons are predictable, they are therefore manageable. (I think you’ve probably heard me say this before.)
‘Expect them,’ I said, ‘and in fact embrace them. Shake their hands, tell them they’re a little late, tell them you don’t have time for them no. They can have a seat and you’ll be back with them when you’re done.’
Because, of course that’s what real courage is. Not the absence of fear, but proceeding with your business despite fear (‘Chapter 25: Fear, Courage, and ‘Buck Fever’).
Ultimately the challenge really has nothing to do with the audience at all. There’s probably nobody out there with a weapon to hurt you. In fact, every single person in that room wants you to do well. The challenge is completely inside your own head.
Which mean what?
It’s the one thing you can control.
CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES.
If you need help doing that, here’s the best tip I can give you: Make sure that you have the first two minutes of what you’re going to say completely memorized, forward and backward. Own that first two minutes. Prepare it; learn it; practice it obsessively until it’s a part of you. Until you can recite it standing on your head.
Now, when you begin, you’ll have those first two minutes down cold. You’ll be flying on autopilot for 120 seconds. And you’ll see an amazing thing happen during that time:
You’ll relax. You’ll ease into yourself. You’ll see that the people in the room are with you, not against you.
(And then the next time you get up to speak inn front of a group of people, it’ll get even easier!)
Leah Robertson got up in front of that audience at the end of the season and sailed through those first two minutes, and then kept going. She’s a business owner now. She does public speaking all the time and never thinks twice about it.
Try this technique the next time you’re faced with the same challenge, and I am confident you’ll nail it!”
There is a succinct summary in the next-to-last chapter:
“CHAPTER 36 PLEASE REMEMBER THESE SEVEN THINGS (pages 188 and 89)
“I read in a psychology textbook that the human mind has just enough short-term memory to easily remember seven things, so as I near the close of this book, I’m going to give you exactly seven things to remember:
BECOME THE WORLD’S GREATEST EXPERT ON YOURSELF, so that you can become the very best version of yourself.
CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES. Never forget that you are the only person who has control over your own mind – over your thoughts and ultimately over your feelings.
PRACTICE, TRAIN, AND REHEARSE giving 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. Because if you make this your mindset, then on your absolutely worst day, you’re still going to be better than the average person on their best day.
COMMIT, IMPROVE, MAINTAIN. Commit, right now, to improving your life. Make the changes, one at a time. Consistently maintain those changes, every single day.
STOP BEING AFRAID OF BEING AFRAID. The demons of fear and self-doubt are predictable, therefore manageable. Fear is a part of being human, and courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is facing fear.
PRACTICE SELF-LOVE AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE. They are the keys to replacing self-defeating attitudes and behaviors with self-supporting attitudes and behaviors.”
BECOME THE VERY BEST FRIEND YOU EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE, because your very best friend has to be you.”
The cartoon of madness was adapted from OpenClipArt.
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