Mustaches to Ashes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changing the wording of a well-known expression can be hilarious. There is a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic by Zack Weinersmith on June 17, 2026 with captions saying the following:

 

Clergyman (at coffin): Earth to Earth, Mustaches to Ashes, Dust to Dust. The Lord Bless Him.

 

Man (thinking): Wait, did he just say…No, it couldn’t be.

 

And the description below says:

 

There are a lot more dares among the clergy than you would guess.

 

An article by Matthew Harrison at The Lutheran Witness on April 1, 2019 titled Ashes to ashes, dust to dust describes the usual wording for burial of the dead from The Book of Common Prayer:

 

“We now commit the body of our brother/sister to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, who will change our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him to subdue all things to Himself.”

 

The mustaches came from OpenClipArt and the ashes came from Wikimedia Commons.

 

 

My dad told me to use a banana to clean my shoes, and I can’t believe it worked. Now, how do I get these chimps to stop following me around?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I recently looked at Apple News on my iPhone I found an article by Pallavi Mehra at Apartment Therapy from June 4, 2026 with the clickbait title of My Dad Told Me to Use a Banana to Clean My Shoes, and I Can’t Believe It Worked.

 

What about side effects? That title should be followed by asking: How do I get these chimps to stop following me around?

 

The cartoon chimp and grass came from OpenClipArt.

 

Can jokes liven up scientific conferences?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a serious article by Stefano Mammola et al. in the Royal Society Proceedings B for March 2026 (Volume 293, Number 2067) titled Statistically significant chuckles: who is using humor at scientific conferences? The abstract says that:

 

“We’ve all been there: 11.47, swamped by a long stretch of dense scientific talks at a conference. Six slides into a hyper-technical presentation, the speaker suddenly cracks a joke. The room erupts. Shoulders relax. Minds re-engage. Humour is a powerful but underused tool in scientific communication, often sidelined by academic norms that view levity as unprofessional. Social biases can further shape who feels safe joking without risking credibility. 

 

At 14 biology-related conferences, we collected data on humour use across 531 talks. Jokes clustered at the beginnings and ends of talks, with an extra bump in successful jokes midway through. Most jokes (66%) earned only polite chuckles. Humour success was unrelated to the type of joke or form of delivery; however, male speakers told about 0.35 more jokes per talk, and both male and native speakers had a 10% higher probability of eliciting laughter. 

 

This suggests how social dynamics influence who feels comfortable using humour and whose jokes resonate with the audience. Until academia reckons with these biases, humour will remain a privilege. Still, for those brave enough or granted the social licence, a well-placed zinger can turn a forgettable talk into one people actually remember—and perhaps even enjoy.”

 

There were only 870 unique jokes, with 223 speakers telling none. 367 jokes were about situational hiccups, 161 were about subject matter, only 52 were about popular culture unrelated to academia, and 30 were inside jokes about the academic community or conference. 707 were delivered orally, 133 relied on visuals, and just 30 used physical comedy.

 

I found out about this article from another by Phie Jacobs at Science on March 17, 2026 titled Scientific conferences can be a bore. Can jokes liven them up? Yet another is by Nicola James at Nature on March 18, 2026 titled Knock knock, no one’s there. Study finds scientists’ jokes mostly fall flat.

 

The cartoon audience was modified from a couple and another couple at OpenClipArt.

 

 

Elliott Kalan’s 2025 book - Joke Farming: How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a useful 2025 book by Elliott Kalan titled Joke Farming: How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense. Google Books has a preview with the first 35 pages. Among other things, Elliot was head writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

 

Starting on page 19 he summarizes his eight steps of voice, point, premise, structure, twist, tone, wording, and audience:

 

“Here is my process, as simply as I can state it:

 

1] Identify the absurdity I’ve recognized in a subject: the seed of what’s funny about it. Then consider how this absurdity would be viewed from the perspective and frame of reference of the comedic voice for which I’m writing.  

 

2] State that absurdity in plain language in order to clarify the purpose of the joke: in other words, the point I hope the audience will take away from it.

 

3] Select a humorous way to communicate that purpose: the conceptual premise that will lead the audience toward seeing the point.

 

4] Apply a concrete structure to that premise in a first draft. Joke structures tap into familiar patterns that help to bring out the humor of the premise.

 

5] Think ‘oppositely’ to find a twist in the structure that yields another, even funnier layer to the joke. (I know, I know … structure gets two points in the process. It’s that important, though it only gets one chapter to itself.)

 

6] Finesse the joke’s tone, making sure its emotional attitude gives the audience the proper cues for how to feel about it.

 

7] Put a final polish on the wording with an eye toward brevity, clarity, and specificity, as well as capturing the voice of whoever is telling the joke.

 

8] Deliver the joke for an audience that laughs so hard you become instantly rich and famous. (Results may vary.)”

  

In his Conclusion on page 775 Elliott reiterates via questions:

 

“Structure: What part of this joke is meant to be funny?

 

Premise: What is this joke saying? How is it communicating that?

 

Voice: Who is telling this joke? Where do they come from? What do they think?

 

Tone: How does the joke feel? How sincerely does it mean what it’s saying?

 

Wording: What’s the best way to use the format tools at your disposal to make your joke as clear and funny as possible?

 

Audience: Who is the joke being told to, and how do they feel about it?”

 

And then he continues:

 

“Those elements are best utilized to answer those questions by following three basic principles:

 

Brevity: Your joke should take as little time, verbiage, or imagery as possible to be told.

 

Clarity: Your joke should be clearly understandable to your audience, and the first step toward that is making it clearly understandable to yourself.

 

Specificity: Your joke gets closer to universality the farther it gets from generality.”

 

You can listen to a 34-minutes interview with Jesse Thorn at npr Bullseye on January 30, 2026 titled Writer and Daily Show alum Elliot Kalan on the secret to writing great jokes.

 

The farming cartoon was adapted from this one at OpenClipArt.

 

 

Humor Me is an amusing 2026 book by Chris Duffy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is an amusing 2026 book by Christopher Duffy titled Humor Me: How laughing more can make you present, creative, connected, and happy. On page 215 there is a 2x2 chart, which I have colorized as shown above. And on February 10, 2026 I blogged about this book in a post titled Hair salons with puns for names.

 

The book has eleven chapters with the following titles:

 

 1] The First Pillar: Being Present

 2] The Second Pillar: Laughing at Yourself

 3] The Third Pillar: Taking Social Risks

 4] The Math of Comedy

 5] Becoming Magnetic

 6] Inside Jokes with Abe Lincoln

 7] The Second-Best Medicine

 8] More Exciting than ‘Eureka!’

 9] Punching Up

10] Laughing and Crying

11] The Only Thing Worse than No Sense of Humor

 

Chris has an eight-minute TED talk about what’s in the book released on September 11, 2024 titled How to Find Laughter Anywhere | Chris Duffy | TED. He describes, as also is on page 69 in the book, putting the title of Chief Executive Officer of LinkedIn on his LinkedIn profile. Amazingly it took their Trust & Safety department a year to react to that by deleting his account!

 

He also was interviewed by npr at Weekend edition on January 11, 2026.

 

 

Hair salons with puns for names

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I found three funny articles about hair salons whose names are puns. One is by Jess Zimmermam at Atlas Obscura on September 30, 2015 and titled Hair They Are, the Punniest Salon Names in America. A second is at the Meh.com/Forum on October 23, 2018 and titled Hair places often have some of the worst (read:best) pun-tastic names. The following are all real. What’s your favorite? An undated third at DaySmart salon is The 23 Funniest Hair Salon Names. An alphabetical merged list of them is:

 

Anita Haircut

 

Barberella

Best Little Hair House

Bush Wacker

A Breath of FresHair

 

Clip Art

Combing Attractions

Curl Up and Dye

Cut and Dry

 

Deja Do

Do or Dye

Dye Pretty

 

Family Ahair

Finger Bang

From Hair to Eternity

 

Grateful Dreads

The Grateful Head

 

Hair Force One

Hair Today Dye Tomorrow

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hair We Go!

Hairitage

Hairport

Hairphernalia

Hairatics Dye for Your Beliefs

Hannah and Her Scissors

 

Jack of All Fades

Jack the Clipper

Julius Scissor

 

Lice Knowing You

Lunatic Fringe

 

The Mane Tamer

Mullet Over

 

Nail Me Good

 

Scissors Palace

Shear Delight

Shear Destiny

Shear Lock Combs

Shear Madness

Shear Perfection

Snip Doggy Dog

Snip Tease

 

The Tortoise and the Hair

Turn Your Head and Coif

The Twisted Scissor

 

A Wild Hair

 

You Are Hair

You’ve Got Nail

 

I got started on this topic by seeing page 44 of the 2026 book by Christopher Duffy titled Humor Me: How laughing more can make you present, creative, connected, and happy. In a section on Looking for Laughs in All the Right Places Chris said:

 

“Once I was traveling through Maine when I passed a hair salon named Hair Force One. It was a pun so hilarious and terrible that it stopped me in my tracks. And then, over the course of the next week, I noticed more and more hair salon puns: State of Mane, Curl Up and Dye, and so many more. To me, Maine is now a state defined by business name puns so excruciating that they come back around to being amazing."

 

The hair salon cartoon was adapted from one at OpenClipArt.

 

 

What type of funny are you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a post by Andrew Tarvin at the Humor That Works blog on August 29, 2024 titled What Kind of Funny Are You? He lists the following seven (which I have arranged in alphabetical order):

 

Advocate

Encourages the use of humor to promote a positive environment, inspiring others to find their own funny sides.

 

Curator

Collects and shares humorous content that resonates, building connections through shared laughter.

 

Engineer

Strategically uses humor to solve problems and improve the atmosphere, employing wit as a tool to lighten tense situations or enhance communication.

 

Entertainer

Uses charm and delivery to captivate audiences, ensuring that their performance enhances the humor’s impact.

 

Enthusiast

Finds humor in the simplicity and absurdity of everyday life. They remind us of the joy that can be found in small, everyday moments.

 

Inventor

Crafts original humor from personal experiences, turning everyday observations into comedic gold.

 

Skeptic

Critically evaluates the use of humor, ensuring it is appropriate and effective within the given context.

 

And there also is an 11-minute video on August 27, 2024 titled What kind of funny are you? | Dave & Andrew Tarvin | TEDx Greenhouse Road

 

Ignore an executive coach who doesn’t know the difference between a joke and a study

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is an article by Mike Hawkins in the December 2025 issue of Talent Development (TD) on pages 62 to 64 titled Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking. In the second paragraph he claims that:

 

“Studies on glossophobia have found that some people would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy at a funeral.”

 

But, of course, that was not a study but rather a very well-known joke from comedian Jerry Seinfeld, told on his TV show for May 20, 1993. I blogged about it in a post on April 8, 2018 titled Misquoting Jerry Seinfeld and inflating fear five times. We should ignore Mike.

 

An image of Jerry came from Wikimedia Commons.

 

10 simple rules for how to win a Nobel Prize

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently winners for the 2025 Nobel Prizes were announced. On September 7, 2025 I had blogged about Ten simple rules for improving communication among scientists, and on September 12, 2025 I blogged about Ten simple rules for attending your first scientific conference. I wondered if there was a similar article in that series about the Nobel Prize. There indeed is. That article by Richard J. Roberts in PLoS Computational Biology on April 2, 2015 is titled Ten Simple Rules to Win a Nobel Prize. His rules are to:

 

  1] Never start your career by aiming for a Nobel Prize.

 

  2] Hope that your experiments fail occasionally.

 

  3] Collaborate with other scientists, but never more than two other people.

 

  4] To increase your odds of winning, be sure to pick your family carefully.

 

  5] Work in the laboratory of a previous Nobel Prize winner.

 

  6] Even better than Rule 5, try to work in the laboratory of a future Nobel Prize winner.

 

  7] Always design and execute your best experiments at a time when your luck is running high.

 

  8] Never plan your life around winning a Nobel Prize.

 

  9] Always be nice to Swedish scientists.

 

 10] Study biology.

 

An image was adapted from one at Wikimedia Commons.

 

 

For comedian Drew Lynch stuttering is a feature rather than a bug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I saw an interesting article by Gabriel Hays at Fox News on September 27, 2025 titled ‘Stuttering Comedian’ Drew Lynch says speech impediment turned out to be his biggest ‘gift.’ He has a Wikipedia page. And Drew has a nineteen-minute TEDx talk on November 8, 2022 titled Why curiosity gets you farther than ambition | Drew Lynch |TEDxNashville.

 

Contrast that with his nine-minute 2015 YouTube video titled Drew Lynch -Stuttering Comedian – America’s Got Talent 2015 Audition. There is a seven-minute video on August 8, 2025 titled Heckler Says I’m Lying About My Stutter. And there is an hour-long video on June 27, 2025 titled The Stuttering Comedian | Drew Lynch | Full Comedy Special.

 

The cartoon was adapted from this image at OpenClipArt.  

 

 

An often parodied, thirty-three-word, unpunctuated poem from nine decades ago

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back in 1934 family physician and poet William Carlos Williams wrote a poem which I have shown above in a form that might have been taped to the door of an icebox. It even has a Wikipedia page.

 

Originally it was:

 

This is just to say

 

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

 

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

 

forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

 

It appeared on the wall of a building in The Hague. There is an 80-page 2012 book by Gail Carson Levine titled Forgive Me, I Meant to Do It: false apology poems that describes how to do a parody on pages 22 and 23:

 

“Imagine his wife coming downstairs in the morning after dreaming about those plums all night and waking up tasting them. Possibly she opens the icebox door (no refrigerators then) and finds a poem in the neatly washed-and-dried plum bowl. Maybe she laughs or maybe she goes for a very long walk or maybe she seats his breakfast and then writes her own false apology poem-

 

Which you can do too. Many poets have written them, following the form invented by William Carlos Williams. But don’t even consider writing this kind of poem unless you can get yourself into a grouchy mood. You will be wasting your time.

 

If you do decide to write, your poems should be mean, or what’s the point? Mine are, and William Carlos Williams’s is too, in its subtle way. He’s glad he got to those plums first!

 

You don’t need a title because William Carlos Williams has given you one, which can be repeated endlessly until your reader is completely sick of it. You also don’t need a new ninth line, because that’s always the same too: Forgive me. Notice that there are three stanzas, which you may agree are quite enough, and each stanza is four lines long, which you may think are four too many. The first stanza states the horrible offense. The second stanza describes the effect of the offense. The last stanza begins with ‘Forgive me,’ and continues with the false apology, because the writer is not sorry at all. There is no punctuation (how nice), and the beginning words of only the first and ninth lines need to be capitalized. The line beginnings and endings substitute for capital letters and punctuation. Normally, capitals and punctuation help the reader understand, so be careful to end your lines in a way that is very clear, unless you want to confuse your reader, which might be the wisest course.

 

Also, think about the rhythm of the lines. After you’ve cleared everyone out of the house, read your stanzas aloud to help you decide where to end a line. Funny poems are still poems.

 

You don’t have to follow William Carlos Williams’s form exactly if you don’t want to. I haven’t. You can add or subtract lines and stanzas. Or you can abandon the form completely and write false apology poems in your own cruel way.

 

For those of you who lack an ounce of mean and are reading this book only for research into the psychology of unpleasant people, you can write a real apology poem. However, even this will not be possible if you are too angelic to have anything to apologize for.

 

Whatever way you do it, have fun and save your poems!”

 

An example of her parodies (from page 8) is:

 

This is just to say

 

My bulldozer

has flattened

the thorny

hedge

which

you mistakenly

expected to sleep behind

until the prince came

 

Forgive me

I’m charging tourists

ten dollars

to visit the castle

 

She also has versions based on stores for children like Jack and Jill (page 14), Jack and the Beanstalk (page 28), Red Riding Hood (page 55), Rapunzel (page 62), and Humpty Dumpty (page 66), etc.

 

There is another 48-page book from 2007 by Joyce Sidman titled This Is Just to Say: Poems of apology and forgiveness. She has apology poems written by a class of sixth graders and responses to them. One example from page 8 is:

 

This Is Just to Say  

 

I have stolen the jelly doughnuts that were in the teacher’s lounge

and which you were probably saving for teachers.

 

Forgive me. They were delicious, so sweet and so gloppy.

Too bad the powdered sugar spilled all over my shirt

and gave me away.

 

By Thomas

 

I got started on this topic by finding a blog post from David Murray at Writing Boots on August 22, 2025 titled Friday Happy Hour Poem (and a true story). His parody is:

 

 This Is Just to Say, by Eddie [the dog]

 

I have eaten the chicken shawarma (I think it was)

that was on the picnic blanket and which my owner

subsequently made me understand you were surely

eating for dinner with your young daughter,

when I ran over from playing with the other dogs

in the middle of Smith Park because I smelled something good, and ransacked before you and the little girl knew what hit you.

Forgive me. It was delicious, so moist, and so savory.  

 

 

A humorous YouTube video from Don McMillan about Venn Diagrams

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back on December 10, 2013 I blogged about Communicating ideas using Venn diagrams and other simple graphics. In another blog post on February 28, 2015 titled Don’t make things any more complicated than necessary I discussed Simon Sinek’s use of a bullseye (concentric circles) Venn diagram.

 

There is a humorous five-minute YouTube video by Don McMillan Comedy on July 8, 2025 titled Venn Diagrams About Venn Diagrams.

 

At 0:30 he explains that diagrams are overlapping circles with different colors (as shown above).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 2:05 he explains that a comedian has to be funny, socially challenged, and not afraid of public speaking (as shown above).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 2:50 he explains that a motivational speaker has to be funny, not socially challenged, and not afraid of public speaking (as shown above). Unlike a comedian you will tell people how they should live their lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 3:00 he explains that a mime has to be funny, socially challenged, and afraid of public speaking (as shown above).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 3:10 he explains that Elon Musk is not funny, socially challenged, and not afraid of public speaking (as shown above).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He has another seven-minute YouTube video titled The Career Venn Diagram – Comedy in Place (E61) which at 1:25 has six circle diagram (as shown above) with Math Skills, Problem Solving, People Skills, Drinking, Heartless, and OCD.

 

 

Four inside jokes with punchlines from family stories

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are inside jokes where you must have heard a family story before the punchline will make any sense. On July 9, 2025 I gave a speech titled Four inside jokes from my family stories at the Pioneer Toastmasters club meeting. It was for a Level 1 project in the Engaging Humor path on Writing a Speech with Purpose.

 

The first story is about eight decades old. My mother was the youngest of five sisters. One of her older sisters held a dinner party soon after she had married. She baked a pound cake for dessert using a recipe which she never had tried before. When she cut the second slice from the loaf at the table, one of the guests exclaimed:

 

“Wow, you even filled that cake with custard!”

 

But she hadn’t – it was just cake batter. The middle of the cake still was quite raw. She had to put it back into the oven for another fifteen minutes to finish cooking. Perhaps she had forgotten to preheat the oven first. 

 

My mother told us a story about two of her younger cousins back in the city of Cincinnati. The older one, Gil, was in the fourth grade. That day his school class had been on a field trip to a meat packing plant – which is a polite euphemism for a slaughterhouse. They were eating fried chicken for dinner when Gil inquired:

 

“How was this chicken killed?”  

 

His younger brother Phil was in the second grade.  He never had considered where the food on his plate came from. Phil pushed his plate away and asked in disgust:

 

“Is this a DEAD chicken?

 

I don’t know if Phil became a vegetarian right then and for how long. In our family that question is used to describe situations where you’re appalled when you find how things actually work. On April 22, 2020 I blogged about Is this a dead chicken? (Punchline from a family story).  

 

And on March 1, 2013 I blogged about a couple other stories in a post titled Does your speaking voice sound like a little girl? The second involved Bea Kahles, who was tone deaf.  One rainy April day, her half-dozen kids were playing in the basement family room. They were marching around in a circle, pretending that they were riding carved wooden horses on a Merry-Go Round. She was providing the calliope music by scat singing. Finally the youngest daughter could no longer stand it, and she piped up:

“Mommy, please stop singing. You’re making my horse sick!”

The pound cake image came from Wikimedia Commons.

 

A brief useful little book about how to write a funny speech

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a 2025 useful, brief (141 page) little book (5-1/4” wide by 7-3/4” high by 5/8” thick) by Carol Leifer and Rick Mitchell titled How to Write a Funny Speech … for a wedding, bar mitzvah, graduation & every other event you didn’t want to go to in the first place. A preview is at Google Books. An article about it by Carol Leifer and Rick Mitchell at Oprah Daily on March 11, 2025 is titled A Foolproof Guide to Writing The Perfect Wedding Speech.  Sections in the book are summarized by the following tips:

 

Getting Started Tips

Keep it short and sweet.

Think about the ‘where’ and ‘when.’

Keep it classy! You’re most likely giving your speech to a mixed crowd, so keep it G-rated.

 

The Beginning Tips

Let the crowd know who you are and your relationship to the honoree.

Share with the guests the story of how you first met.

Before or at the event, ask if you are going to be introduced.

 

The Middle Tips

Start by trying to list five personal attributes about the person – a good path to humor.

Personal Stories! About them! About the two of you together! That’s the gold.

Don’t talk about yourself unless it’s in relation to the honoree.

Parents? Don’t make your speech an obnoxious reading of your kid’s resume.

Don’t use cliches.

No detail is too small to get right.

 

The end tips

Speak from the heart briefly.

Raise a glass and toast your honoree(s).

Give them a warm embrace before going back to your seat.

 

There are five examples of speeches with helpful comments added:

 

Rick’s Speech for Charlie and Rachel’s Wedding (pages 50 to 53)

Betsy’s Real Speech for Jessica and Zack (pages 58 to 61)

Cousin Elliot’s Best Man Speech for His Brother Joel (pages 62 to 67)

Rick’s Speech for Ella and Jake’s Wedding (pages 68 to 71)

Carol’s Speech at Cousin Jay’s Memorial (pages 72 to 77).

 

This book also contains four very useful templates:

 

Wedding Speech Template (pages 94 to 97)

Retirement-Speech Template (pages 102 to 105)

Graduation-Speech Template (pages 107 to 110)

Bar Mitzvah-Speech Template (pages 111 to 114)

 

The wedding speech one is more useful than a July 2019 Toastmaster magazine article on page 8 titled Tips for the Perfect Wedding Toast. The template says:

 

Wedding Speech Template

“Hello, my name is [your name], and I’m [relationship to honoree (X)]. I remember when I first met [where and when you met (X)]. Now everybody knows that (X) is [a characteristic or quality of (X)]. And I saw this very clearly when [something (X) did to display this characteristic or quality].

 

[(X)’s new spouse (Y)? You’re lucky because (X) is a very good person. (X) once [something nice (X) did]. But of course, I’ve also got to tell you the funniest story about (X) [a funny or embarrassing story about (X)].

 

And then (X) met (Y). I’ll never forget when (X) told me [story (X) told you about meeting (Y)]. Now it’s plain to see that (Y) is [complimentary asset of (Y)]. And it’s clear to see that these two should be together because [obvious reason (X) and (Y) should be together].

 

(X) was a disaster as a single person! (X) once [funny or embrarrassing thing (X) did while single].

 

Today, we toast their marriage! (Y)? You’re going to have to get used to a lot of things about (X). [Three funny things about (X) that you are sure will drive (Y) crazy].

 

So let’s raise our glasses to (X) and (Y). I am honored that you asked me to speak on this monumental occasion and wish you nothing but the best from this day forward! Cheers!”

 

My cartoon was derived from happy-day and generic-book cartoons at OpenClipArt.

 

Another extremely humorous flipchart presentation from Bec Hill

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On May 18, 2019 I blogged about An extremely entertaining flipchart presentation by comedian Bec Hill. There is another very humorous YouTube video from a year ago of a four-minute presentation titled This page is the first and also the last… The popup dragon at three minutes is very impressive! And there is another video of a Die Hard Pop-Up Book (by Bec Hill and Jonnie Common).

 

The flipchart image was adapted from one at OpenClipArt.

  

Jim Gaffigan heard there was a pinecone factory in Bend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though I am a seasoned citizen there always are things I have not noticed before. Recently I was watching a YouTube video of a Jim Gaffigan comedy routine telling a story about Pinecones scented with cinnamon. I’d never noticed them, but as shown above, I found bags of them on display outside of a Winco supermarket here in Boise. Jim started his monologue with:

 

“Occasionally I will perform in a city I’ve never been. I did a show recently in Bend, Oregon. Beautiful Bend, down there in the woods. And I had never been to Bend, Oregon, so I asked my Uber driver, I was like, ‘What is the industry? The industry here in Bend, Oregon’ He very quickly answered: ‘Pinecone Factory.’ Oh well, obviously he didn’t hear me. I don’t even know what question I’d have to ask to get Pinecone Factory as an answer.“

 

Then the driver tried to explain about around the holidays, when everyone buys their bags of pinecones. Jim replied that no, they don’t. But when he Googled, he found out about pinecones that smell of cinnamon. When I Googled, I found an article by Dylan J. Darling at the Bend Bulletin on January 31, 2020 titled Pine cone picking catching on. It explained that you could get a license for picking them in the Deschutes National Forest. Presumably scent gets added in the factory. You can also get them scented with vanilla! But I think pinecones just should smell like pine trees.

 

Fun with filler words: A beer-drinking game based on a speaker using the phrase “you know”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lewis Black’s Rantcast # 191 | The Emmys has a rant sent in by Garret Cheney in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (WARNING: Lewis’s language is Not Safe for Work – NSFW). Instead of getting upset by speakers using filler words, just get a cheap beer and take a drink every time you hear them said.  

 

Back on November 10, 2010 I blogged about another phrase in a post titled But, umm. In the TV show How I Met Your Mother, which included Cobie Smulders as Robin Scherbatsky, there was an episode titled Jenkins with a plot described on IMDB as follows:

 

“Meanwhile, Robin encounters fans of her pre-morning news show. When she met the boys at the college bar, one of Ted's students Scotty (Andrew Lewis Caldwell) comes over to tell her that he's a big fan of her work. Full of pride, she interrupts Ted's class the next day to loudly announce that she is the host of the show. After she leaves, the class explains that they are fans because her show comes on as their night of drinking is coming to an end (Her show is so early in the morning that the class is still at the bar from previous night), and her interjection, ‘but...umm’ is the basis for a drinking game (whenever Robin says this, the students take a drink).”

 

The beer glass was adapted from here at Openclipart.