Tips for tackling wordiness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a brief article by Barbara Bashein on page 28 in the November 2019 Toastmaster magazine titled Shed the Dread of Business Writing. Her tips are to:

 

Eliminate wordiness. For example, change ‘at the present time’ to ‘currently’ or ‘now’.

 

Use clear and concise words. For example, change ‘utilize’ to ‘use.’

 

Use active rather than passive sentence structures. For example: ‘The team wrote the report,’ rather than ‘The report was written by the team.’

 

And there is a web page by Margaret Procter at University of Toronto: Writing Advice titled Wordiness: Danger Signals and Ways to React with tips about how to change:

 

Doubling of Words (choose one)

 

Intensifiers, Qualifiers (omit or give specific details)

 

Formulaic Phrases (use a one-word form or omit)

 

Catch-all Terms (can sometimes omit)

 

Padded Verbs (use a one-word form)

 

Unnecessary ‘to be’ and ‘being’ (omit)

 

Passive Verbs (change to active voice, if possible with a personal subject)

 

Overuse of Relative Structures (‘Who,’ ‘Which,’ ‘That’) (omit when possible)

 

And a four-page pdf article by Barb Every in Medical Writing magazine for March 2017, pages 17 to 20 (Volume 6, Number 1) is titled Writing economically in medicine and science: Tips for tackling wordiness. She says to avoid repetition, eliminate redundancy, and minimize purposeless words. Barb’s Table 1 on omitting redundant words is as follows:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cartoon was modifed from this one at OpenClipArt.

 

 

Use a glitch report to keep mistakes or failures from recurring

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been skimming through a useful 2026 book by Jessica Weiss titled Happiness Works: The science of thriving at work. There is a preview at Google Books. Chapter 5, starting on page 85, is titled Trust and Happiness and subtitled An unbeatable team formula. An article by Julia Korn in Forbes on November 12, 2025 titled A Practical Guide to Being Happier At Work (From a Workplace Happiness Expert) discusses it as follows:

 

“Run a regular ‘Glitch Report’ with your team

 

Borrowed from the Four Seasons hotel, this simple ritual turns everyday frustrations into learning moments. A ‘glitch’ is any situation that didn’t go as planned – a missed deadline, a miscommunication or even a small annoyance. The goal isn’t to assign blame or complain, but to find solutions together.

 

Here’s how it works: each team member shares what went wrong during the previous day, week, or month – depending on cadence – and the steps that have been taken to fix it. The result? Everyone’s aligned, informed, and empowered to help address the glitch further.

 

Weiss says this practice builds:

   Transparency

   A focus on learning and improvement

   Inclusive participation

   Collaboration, particularly when problems surface

   Timely and constructive feedback.

 

In short, the glitch report creates a culture of psychological safety, where team members can speak up, take risks, and own mistakes without fear. This counts: when people feel psychologically safe, they’re far more resilient to burnout, even when their work environment isn’t perfect.

 

Try this practice with your team to see how problems turn into solutions.”  

 

The first note in the book for this chapter references a post by John Caddell in the FutureLab blog on January 10, 2015 titled Four Season Hotels Review a Daily Glitch Report:

 

“Next up [in our daily review] is a review of the previous day’s mistakes in something we call the Glitch Report. Every department in the hotel is represented at the morning meeting, and each has a printout detailing what has gone wrong and what steps may already have been taken to correct course. The Glitch Report ensures that every hotel department knows what happened and which guest it affected.

We might have missed a guest with something as simple as turndown service, and everybody listens to the department head responsible as he or she articulates what went wrong. That person will go to the root cause of the problem and tell everyone what will be done to fix it in that guest’s eyes. Whatever the issue, making it right starts with a sincere apology. It can also mean trying to do something else for them later on in their visit. It can mean an amenity such as flowers or fresh fruit skewers or a bottle of wine. It could mean an appropriate adjustment or consideration on their bill. For each guest, we strive to find the right approach in the apology.”

 

The cartoon was modified from this one at OpenClipArt.

 

 

Speechwriters should mostly use active voice rather than passive voice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On June 22, 2024 I blogged about how I write speeches in active voice – not passive voice. An article by The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill from The Writing Center – College of Arts and Sciences titled Passive Voice [Tips & Tools] explains:

 

“A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a sentence. That is, whoever or whatever is performing the action is not the grammatical subject of the sentence. Take a look at the passive reframing of a familiar joke [Why did the chicken cross the road?]:

 

‘Why was the road crossed by the chicken?’ “

 

On December 19, 2017 I blogged about More speechwriting resources from the Congressional Research Service. In that post I discussed a publication by Thomas H. Neale and Dana Ely from April 12, 2007, their CRS Report 98-170, titled Speechwriting in Perspective: A Brief Guide to Effective and Persuasive Communication.

 

Under Contemporary Style and Tone the fourth paragraph explains:

 

“Writers should generally use simple declarative sentence, preferably in the active voice, when making important statements of fact, assertion, or opinion. Use of the passive voice should not be dismissed out of hand, however; it is sometimes the more desirable form, and can lend grace and variety to the speaker’s flow of words that stimulates the listener. It is excessive use that should be avoided. Similarly, exclusive use of the active voice can impart a choppy, juvenile cadence to even a content-rich speech.”

 

A detailed article by Jacob M. Carpenter from 2022 in Legal Communication & Rhetoric titled The Problems and Positives of Passives: Exploring Why Controlling Passive Voice and Nominalizations Is About More Than Preference and Style states that you should use passive voice:

 

To emphasize something other than the actor

When the actor is unimportant or unknown

To improve cohesion and concision through dovetailing

To portray objectivity or deflect responsibility

To distance the reader psychologically

 

He also notes that:

 

“Passive voice at the beginning of a sentence may create an effective ‘dovetail’ connecting adjacent sentences….

 

In subsequent telephone conferences the defendant’s counsel promised to produces the documents within 30 days. The documents were never produced.”

 

My graphic uses a modified version of the man posting a sign from the Library of Congress.

 

 

A 270-page trainer’s guide for teaching how to write in plain language

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Wikipedia page for Plain Language defines that:

 

 “Plain language is writing designed to ensure the reader understands as quickly, easily, and completely as possible. Plain language strives to be easy to read, understand, and use. It avoids verbose, convoluted language and jargon.”

 

Another Wikipedia page on Plain English elaborates that:

 

“Plain English (also referred to as layman’s terms) is a mode of writing or speaking the English language intended to be easy to understand regardless of one’s familiarity with a given topic. It usually avoids the use of rare words and uncommon euphemisms to explain the subject. Plain English wording is intended to be suitable for almost anyone, and it allows for good understanding to help readers know a topic. It is considered part of plain language.”

 

On December 4, 2022 I blogged about Advice from the U. S. National Institutes of Health on writing clearly using Plain Language and discussed a 13-page article.

 

Recently I found a 270-page pdf e-book from the Government of Canada in 1994 titled PLAIN LANGUAGE: CLEAR AND SIMPLE: Trainer’s Guide. It has the following sections for giving a two-day course:

 

Module 1: Introducing Plain Language [page 1]

Module 2: The Starting Point: Your Reader 

  and Your Purpose [page 13]

Module 3: Organizing Your Ideas [page 19]

Module 4: Using Appropriate Words [page 29]

Module 5: Writing Clear and Effective Sentences 

  [page 51]

Module 6: Writing Clear and Effective Paragraphs 

  [page 75]

Module 7: Presenting Your Message Effectively [page 81]

Module 8: Testing and Revising the Document 

  for Usability and Readability [page 89]

Module 9: Putting It All Together: Working 

  with Plain Language [page 101]

 

 

Excellent Tips and Techniques for Accelerating Your Writing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a terse two-page article by Noe Lorona on pages 41 and 42 in the Spring 2025 issue of Army Communicator [professional bulletin] titled Tips and Techniques for Accelerating Your Writing. I found it in the MasterFILE Premier database in the EBSCOhost collection at my friendly local public library. You can download the entire issue here. Noe’s paragraph titles are:

 

Set Writing Targets and Deadlines

Take a Stroll in the Idea Phase

Write First, Edit Later

Leverage AI Tools

Find Your Flow

Embrace Collaboration and Accountability

Overcome Writer’s Block

Iterate and Refine

Final Thoughts

 

Both motivation and urgency are important, as is shown above in my colorized version of his table. Under Set Writing Targets and Deadlines he says that: 

“Deadlines create urgency, which helps overcome procrastination. Without clear goals, writing projects can linger indefinitely. To stay on track, set word count goals by breaking your writing into manageable word count targets per session. Use timers, such as the Pomodoro technique, to write for 25-30 minutes with short breaks to maintain momentum. Commit to a publishing date, even if self-imposed, as having a target completion date adds accountability. Writing with intent makes a difference, so align ideas with the format and audience.”

 And under Take a Stroll in the Idea Phase Noe says:

“Before you start drafting, invest time in generating and refining your ideas. Rushing into writing without a clear direction often leads to disorganized thoughts and multiple rounds of heavy revisions. Do not rush into drafting; instead, stay in the idea phase longer. Use mind mapping to create a visual representation of your ideas and their connections to ensure logical progression. Brainstorm by jotting down all your thoughts, no matter how scattered they may seem, and categorize them later. Backward planning is useful. Begin with the final goal in mind to make it easier to structure the supporting arguments or sections leading up to it. Sticky notes or index cards help by allowing you to write key points down and arrange them physically to sort and prioritize content.”

 

 

Comparing scales for loudness and temperature

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

On November 23, 2023 I blogged about Five recent articles on using analogies and linked to an article by Miguel Balbin, Khatora Opperman and Tulio Rossi at Animate Your Science on November 7, 2022 which is titled How to write effective analogies for communicating research. They explained that:

 

“An analogy is a descriptive comparison of similarities between two or more different things. Using comparisons helps to explain complex and new ideas by linking them to something familiar.”

 

There is an interesting 2025 book by Walter Murch titled SUDDENLY SOMETHING CLICKED: The Languages of Film Editing and Sound Design. Chapter 19 in the section on Sound Design is titled ODE TO SPO: The Road to Apocalypse. On page 225, he has a pair of tables first listing loudness of sounds in decibels and then temperature in degrees Fahrenheit. Most of us are very familiar with temperatures between those for water freezing (32^oF) and boiling (212^oF). Walter notes there is a close alignment between the subjective experiences for loudness and temperature, although this just is a fortuitous coincidence. I have tabulated them side by side, as shown above.

 

His discussion of film editing describes working on the 1974 mystery thriller film The Conversation. It was written, produced, and directed by Francis Ford Coppola. On page 133 there is an image showing how scenes in it were edited. That is shown more clearly in a two-minute Vimeo video titled Conversation: Restructure first 40 minutes.

 

Hair salons with puns for names

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I found three funny articles about hair salons whose names are puns. One is by Jess Zimmermam at Atlas Obscura on September 30, 2015 and titled Hair They Are, the Punniest Salon Names in America. A second is at the Meh.com/Forum on October 23, 2018 and titled Hair places often have some of the worst (read:best) pun-tastic names. The following are all real. What’s your favorite? An undated third at DaySmart salon is The 23 Funniest Hair Salon Names. An alphabetical merged list of them is:

 

Anita Haircut

 

Barberella

Best Little Hair House

Bush Wacker

A Breath of FresHair

 

Clip Art

Combing Attractions

Curl Up and Dye

Cut and Dry

 

Deja Do

Do or Dye

Dye Pretty

 

Family Ahair

Finger Bang

From Hair to Eternity

 

Grateful Dreads

The Grateful Head

 

Hair Force One

Hair Today Dye Tomorrow

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hair We Go!

Hairitage

Hairport

Hairphernalia

Hairatics Dye for Your Beliefs

Hannah and Her Scissors

 

Jack of All Fades

Jack the Clipper

Julius Scissor

 

Lice Knowing You

Lunatic Fringe

 

The Mane Tamer

Mullet Over

 

Nail Me Good

 

Scissors Palace

Shear Delight

Shear Destiny

Shear Lock Combs

Shear Madness

Shear Perfection

Snip Doggy Dog

Snip Tease

 

The Tortoise and the Hair

Turn Your Head and Coif

The Twisted Scissor

 

A Wild Hair

 

You Are Hair

You’ve Got Nail

 

I got started on this topic by seeing page 44 of the 2026 book by Christopher Duffy titled Humor Me: How laughing more can make you present, creative, connected, and happy. In a section on Looking for Laughs in All the Right Places Chris said:

 

“Once I was traveling through Maine when I passed a hair salon named Hair Force One. It was a pun so hilarious and terrible that it stopped me in my tracks. And then, over the course of the next week, I noticed more and more hair salon puns: State of Mane, Curl Up and Dye, and so many more. To me, Maine is now a state defined by business name puns so excruciating that they come back around to being amazing."

 

The hair salon cartoon was adapted from one at OpenClipArt.