More about eulogies and writing them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The March 2026 Toastmaster magazine has a brief article by George Kiser on pages 18 and 19 titled Finding the Right Way to Say Goodbye.

 

There also are some good longer articles on writing eulogies. One is a 5-page pdf by Angela Morrow, RN at NH Funeral on August 14, 2019 titled How to Write a Eulogy or Remembrance Speech. Another 9-page pdf article by Rhodes Davis at Godly Youth in 2016 is titled Writing a Memorable Eulogy. A third 15-page pdf article at Eulogy for Life in 2019 is titled Write a Eulogy in 7 steps. A fourth 16-page pdf article at Co-operative Funeralcare is titled Well chosen words: How to write a eulogy.

 

There is a four-minute YouTube video at TEDx Talks September 1, 2021 titled How to write a eulogy | Bret Simner | TEDx Basel.

 

And there is an 11-page pdf article by David M. Markowitz et al. in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science USA on August 26, 2025 (Volume 122, Number 35) titled An exploration of basic human values in 38 million obituaries over 30 years. The abstract says:

 

“How societies remember the dead can reveal what people value in life. We analyzed 38 million obituaries from the United States to examine how personal values are encoded in individual and collective legacies. Using Schwartz’s theory of basic human values, we found that tradition and benevolence dominated legacy reflections, while values like power and stimulation appeared less frequently.

 

Major cultural events—the terrorist attacks of September 11th, the 2008 financial crisis, and the COVID-19 pandemic—were systematically linked to changes in legacy reflections about personal values, with security declining after 9/11, achievement declining after the financial crisis, and benevolence declining for years after COVID-19 began and, to date, not yet returning to baseline.

 

Gender and age of the deceased were also linked to differences in legacy: Men were remembered more for achievement, power, and conformity, while women were remembered more for benevolence and hedonism. Older people were remembered more for tradition and conformity than younger people. These patterns shifted dynamically across the lifespan, with obituaries for men showing more age-related variation than legacies for women. Our findings reveal how obituaries serve as psychological and cultural time capsules, preserving not just individual legacies, but also indicating what US society values collectively regarding a life well lived.”

 

There even is a two-page pdf article from the Canadian Mental Health Association titled Writing an obituary for a loved one who has died by suicide.

 

An image of a eulogy for Anwar Sadat at the UN came from the Library of Congress. 

 

Eulogies at the funeral for President Jimmy Carter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The funeral service for Jimmy Carter had lots of long and inspired eulogies. At PBS NewsHour there is a four hour and eighteen-minute video titled Funeral service for Jimmy Carter held at Washington National Cathedral. There is a second four-minute YouTube video titled WATCH: All 5 living former presidents gather to pay tribute to Carter | Carter Funeral. And there is a third seven-minute video titled WATCH: Key moments from Jimmy Carter’s official state funeral.

 

There is an eleven-minute video titled WATCH: Jimmy Carter established ‘model post-presidency,’ Biden says in eulogy. And there is another nine-minute video titled WATCH: Harris pays tribute to Jimmy Carter at U. S. Capitol memorial service.

 

An eight-minute homily is titled WATCH: Rev. Andrew Young remembers Jimmy Carter’s legacy pursuing equality. Note that Rev. Young did not mention that he was appointed as Ambassador to the United Nations in 1977. He kept the focus on Jimmy Carter.  

 

There is a fifteen-minute video titled WATCH: Gerald Ford’s son reads former president’s eulogy to Jimmy Carter | Carter Funeral. And there also is a nine-minute video by vice-president Walter Mondale, read by his son Steve titled WATCH: ‘Far-sighted’ Carter put presidency on the line for the future, Mondale wrote in eulogy.

 

A portrait of Carter as governor of Georgia was adapted from Wikimedia Commons.

How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is an excellent article by Chandler Dean at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency on May 22, 2024 titled How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do is Crawl in a Hole. He advises:

 

Ask yourself the big questions.

If you’re feeling stuck, don’t overthink it; start writing exactly what you’re feeling.

Once you have your thoughts on paper, you may now overthink it until it’s under five minutes.

You will never capture this person in their entirety. So do not try.

Don’t be afraid to be funny.

It may be hard to find the words. But avoid saying, ‘There are no words.’

 

There also is a post by Jennifer Calonia at the Grammarly blog on March 24, 2022 titled How to Write a Eulogy. She instead also discusses topics to avoid:

 

The reason for their death

Trivializing their death

Family grudges and disagreements

Unhealthy habits

Criminal history and other legal issues

Triggering memories

Criticisms about their life choices

Unresolved arguments

Their faults

 

Jens E. Kjeldsen is Professor of Rhetoric at the University of Bergen in Norway. He wrote another excellent article with four examples titled “My Father Is No Longer Here – the Rhetoric of Eulogy” which you can read on pages 3 to 6 in These Vital Speeches: The Best of the 2023 Cicero Speechwriting Awards.

 

And there is a great brief article by B. J. Miller and Shoshana Berger at IDEAS.TED.COM on July 23, 2019 titled How to give a eulogy that truly celebrates the person you’re honoring.

Toastmaster magazine has four brief articles about eulogies. One by Theodore Lustig in the December 2009 issue on page 12 is titled The Most Difficult Speech: The Eulogy. A second by Tammy A. Miller in the November 2020 issue on pages 20 and 21 is titled Delivering a Heartfelt Farewell. A third by Bill Brown In the December 2023 issue on page 9 is titled Saying Goodbye Isn’t Easy. A fourth by Caren S. Neile in the June 2024 issue on page 8 is titled An Unwanted Honor.

 

The image of Frank Bolden is from Wikimedia Commons.

 

 

Don’t make a eulogy by stitching together animated GIFs

A recent Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic had a man giving a crass eulogy from animated Graphics Interchange Format (GIF) files – perhaps like an elephant ambling, a donkey kicking or a throbbing pencil. That’s horrible!

Look instead at this 2010 article by Lisa B. Marshall on How to write and deliver a eulogy.

The previous comic on Nightmares was about zombie attacks and slide presentations gone awry.

An image of a woman sewing came from Wikimedia Commons.

Should you give a knockout eulogy?

On September 4th Diane DiResta blogged about How to Give a Knockout Eulogy. She actually just gave one excellent example. Her blog is titled Knockout Presentations, so naturally she used knockout in her title. When I hear the word knockout, I picture an unconscious, downed boxer. So, for me, her title was almost across the line between tasteful and tasteless.

What would be a truly tasteless title? How about Eulogies that Knock ‘em Dead? That would be a cynical way for funeral directors to grow their business. (Martin John Yate wrote a popular series of books on job search topics starting with Resumes That Knock ‘em Dead, and Cover Letters That Knock ‘em Dead. Eventually he got around to using that exaggerated phrase for Knock ‘em Dead Business Presentations.) 

There really doesn’t seem to be a whole book written for dummies just on eulogies. However, there are some useful short articles about how to give a eulogy by Marie Wallace, Jim Anderson, and Lisa B. Marshall.