Motivational speaker and author James Arthur Ray still is a jerk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some motivational speakers just are jerks. Back on January 8, 2012 I blogged about James Arthur Ray in a post titled Don’t give a killer motivational speech. On October 8, 2009 two people (Kirby Brown and James Shore) died in a sweat lodge during his Spiritual Warrior retreat. Mr. Ray was found guilty on three counts of negligent homicide and served two years in prison. There is a 2014 web page about him at the Encyclopedia of American Loons.

 

Of course, he claims to have redeemed himself. Last year he posted a six-minute YouTube video titled A Story of Redemption - James Arthur Ray. And there also is a 2024 book by James Arthur Ray titled God Money & Sex: Understanding and Mastering the Three Human Dilemmas. Mr. Ray appeared on the late-night Coast to Coast AM radio show on December 29, 2024. There is an iHeart transcript for the first seventeen minutes.

 

In my last post I discussed the 2024 book by Jonathan N. Stea titled Mind the Science: Saving your mental health from the wellness industry. On pages 117 and 118 Dr. Stea has an interview  about how James Arthur Ray operated:

 

“In 2020, the same year that James published his redemption story, Kirby’s mother and sister co-published their own book entitled This Sweet Life: How We Lived After Kirby Died. They relay how they discovered her death, how they grieved, what it was liked to live through James’s trial, and how they survived the aftermath. I reached out to Kirby’s sister, Jean Brown, to learn more about Kirby, to renew her voice, and to illustrate some concepts related to our susceptibility to misinformation. What follows is a truncated version of our interview:

 

 STEA: What made James Ray compelling and dangerous?

  BROWN: Kirby got into his ecosystem quickly. It was the fact that he seemed so legitimate. The media legitimized him. He was in involved in The Secret, Oprah, and the Today Show. He was charming and people listened to him. At the Spiritual Warrior event, people did what he said, and the activities broke them down. They couldn’t say ‘no.’ They were told to ignore their signs of discomfort and to expect it, including heatstroke. We can see the warning signs now in retrospect. But we didn’t know them at the time. My sister didn’t know. What’s dangerous about him now is the spinning of this tragedy for his own gain, spinning reality to suit his own narrative. We can see the harm caused by people like him in the wellness industry. People may say, ‘Well, I enjoy such wellness activities and it’s good for me,’ but that doesn’t negate from the fact that it’s potentially very harmful.

 STEA: What’s your understanding of how amazing, intelligent people like Kirby fall for his grift?

  BROWN: People who wouldn’t think they are susceptible can get pulled in. We are all vulnerable. That said, some types of people are more at risk, particularly those who are in a period of change or making a big transition in their life, such as people in recovery from addiction and mental health problems, or college age people – basically, people who are motivated and open to new experiences and ideas. Seeking personal growth requires a kind of vulnerability and openness and ability to change beliefs and values. But vulnerability is not weakness. Kirby was a force of nature. No one that knew her would describe her as weak. She was determined. She was motivated to make a change in her life. That motivation makes people push through, especially when a guru or leader is telling you to keep going.

 STEA: How did James target his victims?

  BROWN: They offer free wellness events. Once you’re at an event, the comes the heavy sales pitch to sign up for the next course. At these events, you might hear about five wellness ideas. Two of them may seem okay, like good ideas that are repackaged from stuff that works, and the other three ideas are really out there and farfetched. They use other tactics too. Some of them are cult-y. Like at the Spiritual Warrior event, they first had to shave their heads. It disconnects people from their identity and creates bonding. The deprivation exercises make people weaker so they’re more at the whim of the leader. ‘Love bombing’ occurs too, which means showering you with compliments and making you feel amazing. When all of this happens, people feel like they have a transformative experience that convinces them it’s working and they need to do more and more. They’re on a high from the event.

 STEA: How would you describe Kirby’s legacy?

  BROWN: Her story is a cautionary tale. Having strong people meet their end at an event like that was so shocking to many people. She was strong, like physically strong – she lived in Mexico and was used to the heat. To have someone so strong meet her end in a physical way was shocking. She was only 38. I just really want people to know who she was. She had a zest for life. She was willing to live unconventionally. She was spiritual. She was able to hold on to all these things and was very fun, and caring, and a rock for many of her friends – someone people would turn to in times of crisis.”

 

There also is a 19-minute YouTube video by Dr. Todd Grande titled James Arthur Ray | Dangers of Spiritual and Motivational Gurus.

 

The silhouette was adapted from one at Openclipart.

 

Yesterday’s Dilbert comic strip about motivational speakers

In the first two frames of yesterday’s Dilbert comic Alice says:

“The motivational speaker you hired was great!!! We all decided to quit our jobs and become motivational speakers.”

Other Dilbert comic strips about that topic had appeared on October 29, 2006, May 12, 1995, and May 15, 1993.

In her 2016 book Success Secrets for Today’s Feminine Entrepreneurs: Secrets from Today’s Top Feminine Leaders on Fulfillment, Satisfaction, and Abundance Anita M. Jackson said:

“Mom, Mom! I know what I want to be when I grow up! I want to be a motivational speaker!”

Herman Cain was an unsuccessful candidate in the 2012 U.S. Republican presidential primary, and a successful motivational speaker. But he reportedly said he preferred to be called an inspirational speaker – because only you can motivate yourself.  

UPDATE June 4, 2018

In today's comic when the pointy-haired boss asked how his presentation was, Dilbert replied that:

"The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low."

But a low signal-to-noise ratio isn't good.

Motivational speech versus reality - the tale of the ship and the lighthouse

 Motivational speakers seem to live in a different world than the rest of us. They tell us Great Stories containing Underlying Truths and Universal Principles. We should be able to get the world by the tail, wrap it around, pull it down, and put it in our pocket. But, we’re more likely just to live in a van down by the river.   

On October 31st Rich Hopkins blogged about Another Visit to Speak & Deliver’s Story Graveyard. In that post he listed several motivational stories that should never be used again and buried. One was The Ship and the Lighthouse. It was popularized by Stephen R. Covey in his 1989 book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Supposedly it came from an article written by Frank Koch that was published in Proceedings, the magazine of the Naval Institute. The version on  page 33 of the 2004 edition of Covey's book goes like this: 

“Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,
‘Light, bearing on the starboard bow.’
    ‘Is it steady or moving astern?’ the captain called out.
Lookout replied, ‘Steady, captain,’ which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.
    The captain then called to the signalman, ‘Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.’
Back came a signal, ‘Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.’
    The captain said, ‘Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees,’
‘I’m a seaman second class,’ came the reply. ‘You had better change course 20 degrees.’
    By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, ‘Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.’
Back came the flashing light, ‘I’m a lighthouse.’
    We changed course.”

His takeaway was that:

“Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken.”

The story is considered to be an urban legend that is discussed both on Snopes and Wikipedia. There are more recent versions, including an April 8, 2008 speech published in the September 2011 issue of Morning in America where the opening line now was that classic literary cliche that:

“It was a dark and stormy night.”

Also, the battleship went from generic to the mighty U.S.S. Missouri (BB-63), as shown above. There also is a YouTube video. Rich Hopkins lamented that:

“True or not, I've heard this so many times I'm now rooting for the ship to plow right into the lighthouse.”

Well, it already has. On December 23, 2000 the motor vessel Janra, a 100 m long, 3,999 ton container ship with an 18 m beam was bound from Rauma, Finland to Bremerhaven, Germany. It collided with and completely destroyed the 20 m (66 ft. high) unmanned Troeskeln Vaestra lighthouse. The Janra began to list, and two hours later it turned upside-down. The crew all got out safely. It was towed to a safe anchorage, some containers were removed, and after two salvage attempts it was righted and towed to the Finnish port of Turku (near Rauma). It was renamed the Atlantic Comet.

The BBC story about this accident was titled Lighthouse Lost in Boat Drama, and the CNN story was titled Stranded Cargo Ship Towed to Safety. It wasn’t the first time that lighthouse had been hit. You can download and read the detailed 81-page marine investigation report. Unfortunately there was not enough light for solar panels to recharge batteries, so the lighthouse was dark when it was hit. Damages were at least 12,750,000 Euros. The moral just was to watch where the heck your ship is going.    

 An image of the U.S.S. Missouri came from Wikimedia Commons.

Are motivational speakers dinosaurs?

One in yesterday’s Non Sequitur comic titled The First Motivational Speaker is.
It is captioned:

“Don’t sweat the small stuff..
And it’s all small stuff!

Well, except for that comet,
which looks kinda big...”

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff...and It’s All Small Stuff was the title of a 1997 book by the late self-help guru Richard Carlson, which was followed by another thirteen Don’t Sweat books. 

The image of a Stegosaurus came from Wikimedia Commons.

Pacing infinitely

In a November 20th post at Forbes.com about Public Speaking Mistakes to Avoid, Naomi Robbins observes that:

“I’ve been to a number of presentations where the speaker seems to draw an imaginary line on the floor and then walk back and forth on this line throughout the talk.....Recently I heard several speakers who followed a variation of this pattern. They traversed the imaginary line, stayed at the end and talked there for a short while, then talked while they walked to the other end of the line and talked there for a while, repeating this pattern until the talk was over.”

Last August, in post about Broadcasting Complete Confidence as a Speaker, Gary Genard describes this sort of nervous behavior as:

“....pacing back and forth like a caged animal (what I call ‘the motivational speaker syndrome’)”

People who are very nervous often just stand still behind a lectern and tightly grip its edges, like they are trying to steer a bus. Less nervous people pace around, and make the audience nervous.

In an often quoted passage from a poem J.R.R. Tolkien reminds us:

“Not all those who wander are lost;”

However, most are. Their presentation would be improved by purposeful movement. A Toastmasters International web page on gestures suggests:

“For example, walk to the other side of the stage as you move to a new topic or move toward the audience as you ask a question.” 

Motivational speech and Explosions in the Sky

It’s not much of a philosophy, but what did you expect from a sign for a do-it-yourself car wash?

One of the better motivational speeches in a film can be found here in the 2004 high-school football one, Friday Night Lights. At half time, Coach Gary Gaines (Billy Bob Thornton) preaches:

“It’s real simple. You got two more quarters, and that’s it. Now, most of you have been playing this game for ten years, and you’ve got two more quarters. And, after that, most of you will never play this game again for as long as you live. And y’all have known me for a while, and for a long time now you’ve been hearing me talk about being perfect. 

Well, I want you to understand something. To me, being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It’s not about winning. It’s about you, and your relationship to yourself, and your family, and your friends. 

Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye, and know that you didn’t let them down, because you told them the truth. And that truth is that you did everything that you could - there wasn’t one more thing that you could have done. 

Can you live in that moment, as best you can, with clear eyes and love in your heart? With joy in your heart. If you can do that, gentlemen, then you’re perfect.

I want you to take a moment, and I want you to look each other in the eyes. I want you to put each other in your hearts forever, because forever is about to happen here - in just a few minutes. 

I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think about Boobie Miles, who is your brother. And he would die to be out there on that field with you tonight, and I want you to put that in your hearts. Boys, my heart is full. My heart’s full. Ivory? (Ivory leads them in reciting the Lord’s Prayer)”

Notice that the wistful song playing in the background is Your Hand in Mine by the band Explosions in the Sky. That song originally was on their 2003 album, The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place, and you can listen to it here. Then in 2004 they did the soundtrack for Friday Night Lights. There are three different versions: a long one, a shorter one with strings (my favorite), and a brief (goodbye) one.

Recently Explosions in the Sky got some more unintended fame from another sign on a marquee. They will appear in Boise on September 11th. So, back in August, the Egyptian Theater downtown quite logically put their name up as:

“EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY CONCERT SEPT 11”

Press in New York City called it poorly timed. Actually the band picked that name way back in 1999. In fall 2001 they had already gotten hassled. Well, eveything is somewhere, and on September 11th they’re going to be right here (not in New York City). By the way, there also is a song called Memorial on their 2003 album.