Monday, March 2, 2009
A “whipped topping” elevator speech: What the heck do you guys really do?
In a previous post I discussed how an elevator speech answers the question of: What do you do, that can help me? Writing a good elevator speech to introduce yourself or your company is hard. Writing a bad one is very easy.
Whipped topping is a substitute for real whipped cream. It’s just a garnish for dessert, so it is not expected to be anything substantial. I recently stumbled over the web site for a corporation that is little more than a bunch of fluffy whipped topping. The following statements have been edited just slightly, and the name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
Under the “About Us” tab there is the following Corporate Description, which could be replaced just by saying: “we do stuff for you.”
Enematec is a top-tier provider of business and technology solutions designed to enhance and maximize the operational performance of its customers through the adaptation and deployment of advanced information technology and engineering services. We are an innovative leader in the design, development and delivery of these solutions to commercial and government sectors, from our offices located in major metropolitan centers throughout North America.
Of course, there also is a Mission Statement:
Enematec’s mission is to be in a leadership position in its industry by providing responsive, high-quality, reliable, technologically advanced, and cost-effective services that enable its customers to meet their business objectives, allow Enematec to enhance shareholder value, and afford its employees the opportunity to realize their professional and personal goals. Enematec supports this mission with dedication, resources and expertise.
Naturally there also is a Vision Statement:
Enematec’s vision is to be the #1 choice of customers for delivery of professional services while maintaining a strong commitment to technological innovation, continuous improvement through total quality management, employee career growth, and respecting the integrity of our customers and employees.
Both the Mission Statement page and the Vision Statement page also repeat the Corporate Description paragraph. All of the above might be better summarized by just saying: “We take your money, do great stuff for you, and still make a profit for us.” Maybe they also should have said: “You can trust us”, but would you believe them?