I often read Scene magazine – the tabloid weekly entertainment guide which comes with the Friday issue of the Idaho Statesman. Sometimes I shake my head at the film reviews. Who decided to make a sequel of that film?
For Table Topics this week I asked people to tell us about
another film - one that hasn’t been made
yet but should be. For inspiration I provided a lead actor’s name and three
real titles, like these two examples:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Terminator
Red Heat
Total Recall
Meryl Streep
The Manchurian Candidate
The Devil Wears Prada
Mama Mia!
One participant described a film where an aging Arnold had
trouble remembering things – more like Total Dementia than Total Recall. He
couldn’t save the world singlehandedly anymore. Instead he had to ask Honey,
where are my pants? (the title of a TV comedy show in The Lego Movie).
I also described a more difficult variation where you had to
change just a single letter from the title to get the new film. Start from a 1949
John Wayne film about Marines in World War II: Sands of Iwo Jima. Changing the
first letter to a B turns it into Bands of Iwo Jima – which would be a musical
mashup of The Music Man and South Pacific. Changing the first letter to a W
turns it into Wands of Iwo Jima. What the heck is Harry Potter doing out here? Clearly
we ran out of books to film, but still wanted to make even more piles of money.
An image at the Library of Congress of a theater in Lompoc
was modified to add the title.
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