My second Tall Tale for a Toastmasters speech contest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The December 2020 issue of Toastmaster magazine has an article by Kate McCLare titled True Lies, which discusses Tall Tales speech contests. On August 23, 2020 I blogged about My Tall Tale for a Toastmasters speech contest. That first speech came in third at Pioneer Club. This year I tried a Tall Tale contest speech again, and got further, as shown above. My title was Were You Visited by the Table Topics Bunny? This speech had lots of deadpan humor and numerous props.

 

The first time I gave it was on February 22, 2023 at Pioneer Club. No one else competed, so I won by default. I went on to the Area 3 contest on March 25, 2023 and won (over one other contestant). For feedback I gave it again on April 5, 2023 at Pioneer Club. Then, in the Division A contest on April 15 I competed again, but came in fourth out of four, and only received a Certificate of Participation.

 

This speech topic goes way back on my blog. It begins on June 30, 2008 with a post titled Daddy, where do “Table Topics” questions come from? The full story first shows up on September 27, 2008 in another post titled Tales of the Table Topics Bunny and the Jackalope. In that version the back story for the Table Topics Bunny included eight children (four girls and four boys). A cartoon of the bunny carrying a basket of questions appeared almost a decade later, in yet another post on February 24, 2018 titled Were you recently visited by the Table Topics Bunny?

 

For this year, I brought the number of bunny girls and boys up to five of each, so I could count them off on the fingers of each hand. One of the girls plays the role of the Energizer Bunny in TV commercials.

 

For the first version at Pioneer Club the only props were a couple of sheets of paper with a cartoon image of the Table Topics Bunny and one of the Energizer Bunny. Then I gave the speech to the Surpassing Excellence Academy advanced club on Zoom. My audience suggested that I instead needed to ‘be the Bunny’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I went to the Zurchers party store in Boise, and bought both blue and pink bunny ears. I borrowed a woven basket from my wife. White half-inch thick insulation foam was made into a stack of Table Topics Questions. On eBay I got some 10” wide pink gag sunglasses. At the Idaho Youth Ranch I got a 13” diameter cylindrical carboard box, which I spray painted white and fluorescent pink to make a drum. My drum stick actually was an inflatable microphone, which I had blogged about in a post on October 1, 2021 titled Inexpensive inflatable props for speeches. All those props are shown above. 

 

The final script [with prop use shown in brackets] is as follows:    

 

Were You Visited by the Table Topics Bunny?

 

Fellow Toastmasters. If you have small children, then eventually you will get asked:

 “Daddy, where do Table Topics Questions come from?”

 

We reply that the Table Topics Bunny brings them. [Put on blue bunny ears]. February 22nd is the birthday of Toastmasters founder, Dr. Ralph C. Smedley. That is when the Table Topics Bunny hops by and visits the homes of lucky Toastmasters. The Bunny reaches into his big basket, and leaves them a stack of questions. [Pick up basket, walk across stage, and pull out a stack of questions].There are more than enough to last for the whole year. When I looked in my office that morning, I found a new pile on my credenza.

 

The Table Topics Bunny is named Harvey, and his wife is Barbie. They live near San Diego and are proud of all ten of their children. The five blue boy bunnies are Bruce, George, John, Paul, and Ringo. [Take off blue bunny ears, and put on pink bunny ears]. The five pink girl bunnies are Amy, Britney, Lindsey, Miley, and Taylor. Britney plays a role in TV commercials that is much better known than the Table Topics Bunny.

 

Bruce originally was chosen as a famous mascot, the Energizer Bunny. Then lawyers for an ice cream maker objected. They said WE had trademarked a Blue Bunny for OUR advertising back in 1935, and YOU can’t have one too. Bruce suggested that they use his pink sister Britney instead. She got the job, but due to an oversight the ad copy never was fixed to read that SHE just keeps on going. [Put on pink prop sunglasses].

 

Britney learned to play the bass drum for her junior high school marching band. The sandals, shades, and attitude came later in high school when she started to hang out with the bad beach bunnies. Then Britney headed up to Hollywood to become a singer and actress. [Pick up drum and drumstick, and walk across stage beating the drum].  She just keeps going and going because she has stimulant abuse issues with diet pills. Reportedly Britney again is in rehab somewhere near the Energizer headquarters in St. Louis.

[Take off pink bunny ears, and put on blue bunny ears]. What do you think of the Table Topics Bunny? Does he sound like a Tall Tale? Was he just made up to put something in the calendar between Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?

 

Some of you want to ask why you weren’t visited by the Table Topics Bunny. That’s simple. Think about another holiday. Do you remember the Peanuts Halloween special, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown? Just like the Great Pumpkin, you have to sincerely believe in the Table Topics Bunny. Otherwise, he won’t visit you. So, do you truly, sincerely, believe? Fellow Toastmasters.