The Next Conversation is a thoughtful book by Jefferson Fisher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a thoughtful 292-page book from 2025 by Jefferson Fisher titled The Next Conversation: Argue less, talk more. He is a writer, speaker, and trial lawyer. At Google Books there is a brief preview of up to page 28.

 

On page 269 there is a summary, The 47-Second Version:

 

“Number one: Never win an argument, or you’ll lose a lot more than you gain. When you regulate your reactions before responding, you keep a clear head and a calm mind.

 

Number two: Confidence isn’t an act, it’s an outcome. Use words and short phrases that assert your needs and protect your values without fear of disappointment. When you embrace your assertive voice, you make a pathway for more positive change in your life.

 

Number three: Don’t worry yourself over how to change an entire relationship. Focus on changing the next conversation. When you frame a conversation as something to learn, rather than something to prove, you take out the difficulty in building connection.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He does a good job of illustrating concepts via simple line drawings, like one from page 37 showing what is said versus what is felt, which is shown above by my colorized version.

 

Chapter 7 is titled Assertive Voice. Jefferson describes:  

 

10 Ways to Practice Assertiveness Now

Lesson 1: Every Word matters

Lesson 2: Prove it to yourself

Lesson 3: Express your needs unapologetically

Lesson 4: Speak when it matters

Lesson 5: Say less

Lesson 6: Remove filler words

Lesson 7: Never undersell

Lesson 8: Cut the excess

Lesson 9: When in doubt, fall back on experience

Lesson 10: Say ‘I’m confident’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And on page 159 he compares assertive voice with submissive or aggressive voice, which I have shown above via my colorized version.  

 

Chapter 10 is titled Frames. Beginning on page 215 he describes How to Frame a Conversation:

 

Set a direction

Call your shot

Get their commitment

One frame, one issue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have illustrated this by my own graphic, shown above.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11 is titled Defensiveness and begins on page 225. My colorized version of his illustration on page 232 of how Defensiveness Builds a Wall is shown above. On page 238 he discusses How to Stop Yourself from Getting Defensive:

 

Catch yourself

Let their words fall

Get Curious

 

And on page 239 he discusses How to Prevent the Other Person from Getting Defensive:

 

Begin your sentence with ‘I,’ not ‘You’

Don’t begin your question with ‘Why?’

Acknowledge first

 

There is a pair of articles by Angela Haupt in TIME magazine about the book. One on May 14, 2025 is titled 8 Ways to Respond When Someone Interrupts You. Another on May 16, 2025 is titled The Best Way to Interrupt Someone.

 

Jefferson has a bunch of YouTube videos. A recent long one (1hr 35 min) on February 19, 2026 is titled Simple Phrases to INSTANTLY Silence Disrespect | Jefferson Fisher.

 

A 1919 drawing by Taylor F. Walter of men conversing is from the Library of Congress.