The Next Conversation is a thoughtful book by Jefferson Fisher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a thoughtful 292-page book from 2025 by Jefferson Fisher titled The Next Conversation: Argue less, talk more. He is a writer, speaker, and trial lawyer. At Google Books there is a brief preview of up to page 28.

 

On page 269 there is a summary, The 47-Second Version:

 

“Number one: Never win an argument, or you’ll lose a lot more than you gain. When you regulate your reactions before responding, you keep a clear head and a calm mind.

 

Number two: Confidence isn’t an act, it’s an outcome. Use words and short phrases that assert your needs and protect your values without fear of disappointment. When you embrace your assertive voice, you make a pathway for more positive change in your life.

 

Number three: Don’t worry yourself over how to change an entire relationship. Focus on changing the next conversation. When you frame a conversation as something to learn, rather than something to prove, you take out the difficulty in building connection.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He does a good job of illustrating concepts via simple line drawings, like one from page 37 showing what is said versus what is felt, which is shown above by my colorized version.

 

Chapter 7 is titled Assertive Voice. Jefferson describes:  

 

10 Ways to Practice Assertiveness Now

Lesson 1: Every Word matters

Lesson 2: Prove it to yourself

Lesson 3: Express your needs unapologetically

Lesson 4: Speak when it matters

Lesson 5: Say less

Lesson 6: Remove filler words

Lesson 7: Never undersell

Lesson 8: Cut the excess

Lesson 9: When in doubt, fall back on experience

Lesson 10: Say ‘I’m confident’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And on page 159 he compares assertive voice with submissive or aggressive voice, which I have shown above via my colorized version.  

 

Chapter 10 is titled Frames. Beginning on page 215 he describes How to Frame a Conversation:

 

Set a direction

Call your shot

Get their commitment

One frame, one issue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have illustrated this by my own graphic, shown above.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11 is titled Defensiveness and begins on page 225. My colorized version of his illustration on page 232 of how Defensiveness Builds a Wall is shown above. On page 238 he discusses How to Stop Yourself from Getting Defensive:

 

Catch yourself

Let their words fall

Get Curious

 

And on page 239 he discusses How to Prevent the Other Person from Getting Defensive:

 

Begin your sentence with ‘I,’ not ‘You’

Don’t begin your question with ‘Why?’

Acknowledge first

 

There is a pair of articles by Angela Haupt in TIME magazine about the book. One on May 14, 2025 is titled 8 Ways to Respond When Someone Interrupts You. Another on May 16, 2025 is titled The Best Way to Interrupt Someone.

 

Jefferson has a bunch of YouTube videos. A recent long one (1hr 35 min) on February 19, 2026 is titled Simple Phrases to INSTANTLY Silence Disrespect | Jefferson Fisher.

 

A 1919 drawing by Taylor F. Walter of men conversing is from the Library of Congress.

 

 

A good TEDx talk about Plain Language

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Wikipedia page for Plain Language defines that:

 

 “Plain language is writing designed to ensure the reader understands as quickly, easily, and completely as possible. Plain language strives to be easy to read, understand, and use. It avoids verbose, convoluted language and jargon.”

 

There is a good 19-minute TEDxTalk from December 11, 2015 titled Demand to Understand: How Plain Language Makes Life Simpler | Deborah Bosley | TEDx Charlotte.

 

An example from it is at 13:30 where her Ophthalmologist (eye doctor) asked:

“How’s your vision when your eyes are in a superior position?”

 

She replied: “What do you mean by a superior position?”

 

And then her eye doctor said: “Oh, I just mean when you look up.”

 

Unfortunately, at 8:12 she mentions the bogus claims of an 8.25 second attention span for humans and nine seconds for goldfish. Back on January 21, 2016 I posted about Is the average attention span of a presentation coach almost as short as that of a house fly?

 

The cartoon was adapted from one at OpenClipArt.

 

Does your vehicle have too many bumper stickers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Pearls Before Swine cartoon by Stephan Pastis on February 18, 2026 has the following dialogue:

 

Rat: Well, Carrie looks like you and me can

   be friends. Mind if I go check your car?

 

Carrie: What – you judge people

   by the kind of car they drive?

 

Rat: The number of bumper stickers.

 

Rat (holding sign):

0 = IDEAL

1 = FINE

2 = RED FLAG

3 or More = CERTIFIED NUT JOB

 

Rat: She had eleven.

 

As shown above, some vehicles even have more.  

 

 

A very detailed essay on both clapping and applause

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a very detailed 29-page pdf article (with 78 references) by Alan Crawley at Integrative Psychological and Behavioral Science on June 7, 2023 [pages 1 to 29] titled Clap, Clap, Clap – Unsystematic Review Essay on Clapping and Applause. The first two paragraphs of his Conclusion are that:

 

“Clapping and applause are two different behaviors. The first is a nonverbal phonokinesic manner that mechanically produces an acoustic sound after bursting a bubble of air between both palms of the hands. Different from clapping, applauses are claps that convey a meaning of approval, most usually used in a rhythmic, repetitive sequence.

This may be the first literature review on the complex polysemic and multipurpose behavior of clapping, and even it tried to bring several interdisciplinary lenses to study the same behavior, many historical and current aspects of how it functions, its variations, frequency, and so many more aspects still are yet to understand.”

 

Functions of applause are to:

Approve

Celebrate

Show Support

Cooperate

Intimidate

 

Section titles in Alan’s article are:

Introduction

Definition

Is a Clap a Gesture?

Evolutionary Origin of Clapping

Development of Clapping During Ontogeny

Clapp as an Expression of Soft Biometric Data

Clap as an Expression of Language and Inner Thought

Clap as a Social Act

Clap as a Contagious and Synchronized Act

Why is Synchrony Important, 

  and How Does It Work in Humans?

Clapping and Social Hierarchy

Synchrony Unity and Equality

The Role of Culture in Applause and Claps

The Subjective Experience of Receiving Applause

Conclusion

 

The cartoon came from here at OpenClipArt.

 

Giving a speech or doing a demonstration at a 4-H club day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4-H is a national youth development program administered by the Cooperative Extension System under the U. S. Department of Agriculture. The name refers to a focus on personal qualities of Head, Heart, Hands, and Health. 4-H clubs provide youth opportunities related to agriculture, civic engagement, healthy living and STEM.

 

Back on August 19, 2012 I had blogged about watching A 4-H speech at the Western Idaho Fair. 4-H clubs have speech contests for teenagers (and younger children). State (or provincial) university extension services responsible for 4-H clubs have detailed instructional materials about giving presentations, which are useful for all teenagers. Here are some examples:

 

California

There is a 58-page pdf article from the University of California revised on January 28, 2021 and titled 4-H Presentation Manual.

 

Kansas

There is an 11-page pdf article from Kansas State University – Extension Harper County titled Thinking of doing a Talk or Demonstration at 4-H Day? WHY NOT! Here are some helpful hints! Another 6-page pdf article from July 2019 is titled Kansas 4-H Preparing and Using Visual Aids – Fact Sheet 7.0.

 

Maryland

A 26-page pdf article from February 2021 is titled the Maryland 4-H Public Speaking Guide.

 

Montana

A 64-page pdf article from the Montana State University Extension in 2016 is titled Montana 4-H Clover Communications.

 

North Carolina

A 18-page pdf article from May 2019 is titled North Carolina 4-H Presentations.

 

Orgeon

A 16-page pdf article from Oregon Cooperative Extension in January 2017 is titled 4-H Presentation Guide.

 

South Dakota

A 22-page pdf article from May 2019 is titled the South Dakota 4-H Public Presentation Guideline.

 

Texas

A 21-page pdf article from the Texas Agricultural Extension Service on June 1999 is titled Public Speaking…4-H Style. Another 16-page pdfarticle by Iris Kalich from the Texas Agricultural Extension Service is titled 4-H Public Presentation Guide: Method demonstrations & Illustrated Talks. And a 61-page pdf article from Texas A & M Agrilife EXTENSION is titled Explore Public Speaking Project.

 

Wisconsin

A 16-page pdf article from the University of Wisconsin Extension: 4-H Youth Development on December 2023 is titled A Parent’s Guide to Public Speaking.

 

Alberta

A 22-page pdf article from 4-H Alberta on September 2005 is titled Speaking Your Way to Success. And another massive 142-page pdf articleby Hugh Phillips from 4-H Alberta on October 2005 is titled 4-H Speak Pack – Communicating Effectively….the 4-H Way.

 

The 4-H emblem came from Wikimedia Commons.

 

 

An amusing xkcd comic with a 2x2 table about Dinosaurs or Not

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The xkcd comic by Randall Munroe on February 6, 2026 is titled Dinosaurs and Non-Dinosaurs. As shown above in my colorized version, there is a 2x2 table with horizontal categories for ARE DINOSAURS or ARE NOT DINOSAURS, and vertical categories for SEEM LIKE DINOSAURS or DON’T SEEM LIKE DINOSAURS.

 

This cartoon is discussed at Explain Xkcd. The box with orange at the upper right for ARE NOT DINOSAURS but SEEM LIKE DINOSAURS are mosasaurs, plesiosaurs, pteranodon, dimetrodon, and quetzalcoatlus. And the box with blue at the lower left for ARE DINOSAURS but DON’T SEEM LIKE DINOSAURS just are birds.

 

On January 19, 2024 I blogged about The Joy of 2x2 tables, or charts, or matrices.

 

 

An excellent series of articles on the writer’s craft from Lorelei Lingard in the magazine Perspectives in Medical Education

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are lots of mediocre articles about writing, but fewer excellent ones. An article by Lorelei Lingard in Perspectives in Medical Education on April 8, 2015 (Volume 4, Number 2, pages 79 and 80) is titled The writer’s craft and introduces a series. She has a PhD in rhetoric and is a professor. Articles in the series cover topics ranging from titles, to verbs, to sentences to paragraphs.

 

One on April 9, 2015 Volume 4 Number 2, pages 53 and 54 is titled Enlisting the power of the verb. A second on January 26, 2016 (Volume 5 Number 1, pages 39 to 41) is titled Get control of your commas. A third on May 23, 2016 Volume 5 Number 3, pages 179 to 181 is titled Bonfire red titles. A fourth on December 8, 2016 (Volume 6, Number 1, pages 51 to 53) is titled Mastering the Sentence. A fifth on April 10, 2019 Volume 10 Number 2, pages 98 to 100 is titled From semi-conscious to strategic paragraphing. A sixth on December 18, 2019 (Volume 18, Number 9, pages 57 to 59) is titled Pace, pause & silence: Creating emphasis & suspense in your writing. A seventh on November 3, 2021 (Volume 10, Number 6, pages 347 to 351) is titled When English clashes with other languages: Insights and cautions from the Writer’s Craft series. And an eighth on March 8, 2022 (Volume 11, Number 4, pages 228 to 231) is titled Writing for the reader: Using reader expectation principles to maximize clarity.

 

For example, in Bonfire red titles Lorelei says:

 

“….A title is like a front door: it serves as advertising for what’s inside your research paper. Have a look at the last title you wrote for an academic manuscript. Is it a red door or a white one? Does it draw readers into your work or encourage them to walk by?

 

Titles must achieve two goals: quickly grab the reader and faithfully describe the paper. This likely explains our common addiction to the ‘colon title,’ in which what precedes the colon is meant to be catchy and what follows is meant to be descriptive.”

 

The image of a writer was adapted from one at the Library of Congress.