Great quotations are wonderful, because there are oodles so bad they are funny. Yesterday at USA Today high school sports there was an article by Joe Leccesi titled NCSA: The worst inspirational quotes of all time. His twelve picks are:
“Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.” – Dennis Rodman
“Ninety percent of the game is half mental.” – Yogi Berra
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Joe Theismann
“I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.” – Rocky Graziano
“Why should we have to go to class if we come here to play football, we ain’t come to play school, classes are pointless.” – Cardale Jones.
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards – whichever comes first.” – George Rogers
“We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.” – Bobby Ronson
“We must have had 99 percent of the match. It was the other three percent that cost us.” – Ruud Gullit
“Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.” – Karl Mecklenburg
“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” – Murray Warmath
“Lads, you’re not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.” – Frank Leahy
“Look, I’m a coach. I’m not Harry Potter. He is magical, but in reality, there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real.” - Joe Mourinho
The facepalm gesture cartoon was adapted from one at Openclipart.